Are You Clinging to Your Teddy Bear?

Have you ever seen the above image or one like it?

It is quite a good illustration for how God works in our lives.  Although sometimes it seems like He is not quite so gentlemanly about asking us to give Him whatever teddy bear of comfort we are clinging to in our lives.  Sometimes He simply takes things away from us, leaving us in confusion and doubt.  Then we feel lost and abandoned.

He could of course show us the bigger teddy bear first to win our confidence.  Yet He rarely does.  In fact, He rarely even gives us the greater gift immediately after taking something from us.  Perhaps He gives it sooner if we surrender readily to Him whatever pleasure or security He is asking us to give Him.  Perhaps it is only because He is forced to take away the teddy bear that has become a danger to our spiritual health that He waits for us to turn to Him before He gives us the bigger one lest it should become an idol as well.

So many times I find myself wondering why He seems to deprive those dear to me (and myself as well) of things that seem necessary.  Surely if He truly wanted us to live life more abundantly He would provide us with the support and healing we need in order to be able to do so?

It is easy to allow the enemy to work here—so easy to believe the devil's dastardly lies that seem so much more consonant with the reality we experience and to believe them in such subtle ways that we scarcely even realize it.  We end up relying on our own strength.  We believe that God does not wish to answer our prayers and therefore we must accept His will—a truth certainly, but one that so easily becomes rather a lie lived in bitterness because it taints our view of the Father's love and goodness rather than uniting us with the passion of Christ.

"God alone suffices," said Saint Teresa of Avila.

Is that not the only answer to the taking of our teddy bears?

We think we need them.  We think we need to hold something to give us comfort and security and we can't bear the thought of facing Him with empty hands.

Yet His hands were empty as they hung on the cross for us, as He poured out His love for us, a love that would soon be transformed into glory in His resurrection.  He had no teddy bears.  Everything had been taken away from Him by the Father's will to which He surrendered absolutely.

God alone sufficed for Him as Man because He wanted us to know that it is true for us as well.  He really will give us everything we need.

Of course it may mean we need to change our hearts.  We may need to change our prayers.  We may need to quit telling God what He needs to do and asking Him what we need to do and how we can fix things and simply enter into His presence open to receive His love.  Why not come before Him with empty hands and empty hearts and say to Him: "Lord, here I am; I come to do Your will.  Heal me in whatever way you wish."

Powerlessness

So many times we question God.  Either we want to know why He allowed something to happen or why He did not do something in response to our prayers.

We ask why because we feel helpless.  We feel powerless.

Of course we do not like this feeling, so we try to gain control in any way we can, scrambling in search of something that will give us security.  We build up facades, collect things and friends, and so on, all to counter that loss of control.

Still, in the end, we cannot seize control, but only a deceptive shadow of it.  Only God has the power to rule the universe.

Ultimately our condition is one of powerlessness.  We may experience it when we feel our own lives spinning out of control.  Or we may see a friend struggling and desire to lift him up out of that darkness, to win by our own prayers his release.  Yet God does not grant light.  He allows us and our friends to suffer.

For both of us, that is an experience of complete helplessness.  It may even be the proverbial rock bottom.

God brings us there that He may win our surrender.  It is often only when we cannot trust even ourselves that we learn to trust Him.  If we have nowhere else to turn, we will go to Him.  So He remains silent until we are brought to His feet and know that He alone is King.

Surprise

Today I had the absolutely splendid experience of surprise in so many ways.  I had forgotten how delightful surprises are and what joy they bring.

I knew that I had been struggling and that I was becoming weighted down, but I did not realize quite how much dryness I was experiencing until I received the surprising gift of consolation.  Somehow the dryness always comes upon us slowly.  We think we are doing well, joyfully facing life with all of its challenges, taking care of ourselves and striving to be the best people we can be.  Then slowly, bit by bit, the feelings subside without our quite realizing it.

When I think of surprise, I always think of Chesterton's play of that name.  There are some particularly striking portions from that play that talk about our desire for surprise:

POET. Oh, my God, what am I? Mud out of the highway soiling your carpets; a rag blown over the wall. But will you let me speak one moment for all the ragged people on the road, the truth that your officers do not tell you; what I know out of the very mouths of the poor of God?

PRINCESS. What in the world do they want?

POET. They want surprise. They do not want sufficiency or security. They want surprise. They do not want regular wages. They want irregular wealth. You say they can always find a pig at the pig-trough and ale in the ale-cask. If ever, one fine morning, they found the pig in the ale-cask and could drink ale out of the pig-trough—they would think they were in a fairy tale.

Is this not so?  We think that we want security.  We think that we want what we want.  Yet who has ever been happy with receiving exactly what he asks for?  At least not happy for long.  Always we move on to the next thing that we want, the next thing that will fill the aching emptiness in our heart.

Everyone wants the surprise of winning the lottery or some rich relative to appear and bequeath us some vast fortune.  It is not just that we want the money, but we want the surprise.

There is something ingrained deep in our hearts that makes us desire surprise.  I find it particularly fitting today to think of surprise because of it being the Solemnity of the Annunciation, the Incarnation, which is the greatest surprise of all.  For what greater surprise could there be than that God should become Man?  He remains the God of surprises, answering our prayers when we least expect them and bestowing upon us beautiful gifts we never expected, ever moving in new and surprising ways throughout our lives.