A Man of Deep Love

I have little enough to add to my words of last year upon this date, December the 22nd, the feast of my patron and namesake, Blessed Jacopone da Todi.  (If you would like to read those words, you may find them here.)

Although there is so much I might reflect upon from the greatness of this man I know best through his poetry, now does not seem the time.  Therefore I shall simply share with you a poem I wrote in the spring of 2012 as I sat beside his tomb in the peaceful stillness—a poem that is also a prayer.

The tomb of Blessed Jacopone da Todi

To Blessed Jacopone at his tomb

To pray and go—should be enough;

Yet still I linger here and wait

For what I do not know. Perhaps

I hope some miracle will appear—

Some sign of grace to take my heart

And convert it to His love.

Pray for me—that is enough

To ask. Pray for me that I may bow

My will to His and serve not myself

But Him alone in those I meet—

Through His power then may my heart

Witness to the world of His love.

O Blessed Jacopone, is this enough?

To lay my prayers before thy tomb,

That what I cannot do alone I may yet

Accomplish through thy prayers for me,

For His grace poured out upon my heart

To convert all to His love.

Beyond Our Hopes

"...our works never attain the scope of our desires."

Pedro Calderón de la Barca

When I ran across this quotation again the other day, I began to reflect upon how vastly differently I understood it in light of all the experiences that have come after that discovery of a frustrated college student studying theatre and failing to achieve desired perfection.  For then I understood it only as poetic expression of another failed perfectionist.  There was a certain encouragement in these words of dissatisfaction coming from one who has become a noted figure in Spanish theatre and certainly a significant playwright.

Now, however, although I still see that meaning I originally understood, I see another one as well.  Perhaps there may even be more meanings I have yet to comprehend.

My new understanding arises from an experience with my latest theatrical venture.  It was meant to be simple: I would get together a group of artists of various sorts and see what I could help them put together as a meditation on beauty for Advent.

At our first meeting I said I wouldn't write a script.  There were other things later I said I wouldn't do: act and direct, for instance, or dance.  When working for the Lord one must be careful about saying one won't do something it seems, for as the weeks progressed, I gradually took on more and more until I was doing everything I had said I wouldn't do, as if He intended to prove me wrong on every score....

The joy of it was that the reason I had intended not to do all of these things was partly humility.  Those who humble themselves will be exalted....

I certainly had a taste of that.  I felt as if the Holy Spirit were guiding the entire way: He was directing and I merely following.  I found myself doing things I never would have imagined I could.  Together with the wonderful talent and dedication of my fellow artists and musicians (and the support of our tech crew of one), I created a work of art that did not attain the scope of my desires simply because it surpassed it.  Give something to God and He will do amazing things with it: that is what I learned once more.  I also learned that I can set my expectations smaller than what He intends.

That is a beautiful thought to ponder in this season of Advent.  For do we not often set the scope of our desires too low in our spiritual journey?

Advent is a time of sacrifice, of preparation, and of waiting.  It is a time for growth.  We are to prepare our hearts to receive the King of Kings and Lord of Lords in the coming celebration of Christmas.

What better way than to humble ourselves before Him and give everything to Him?  Weak creatures that we are, we find a greater joy and confidence in our surrender when we know that good fruit will come from it.  And it will.  Because He has the power to transform even the smallest action into a salvific work.  For He is God and we are not, He is all-powerful and we merely mortals stumbling along in this dark vale of tears....

A Prayer for the Weary

I want to share with you a beautiful prayer I ran across somewhere in my research for my latest theatrical project.  As I find myself awash now in the weariness following the intensity of preparing for said project, these words credited to the great Saint Augustine lift my heart a little.  May they lift yours also in your journey, especially if feel your steps dragging with reluctance as you go forward in the great battle of life.  Here is his prayer:

"God of our life, there are days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down; when the road seems dreary and endless, the skies gray and threatening; when our lives have no music in them, and our hearts are lonely, and our souls have lost their courage. Flood the path with light, run our eyes to where the skies are full of promise; tune our hearts to brave music; give us the sense of comradeship with heroes and saints of every age; and so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls of all who journey with us on the road of life, to your honor and glory."

And may Saint Nicholas of Myra intercede for us upon his feastday today!