"...our works never attain the scope of our desires."
Pedro Calderón de la Barca
When I ran across this quotation again the other day, I began to reflect upon how vastly differently I understood it in light of all the experiences that have come after that discovery of a frustrated college student studying theatre and failing to achieve desired perfection. For then I understood it only as poetic expression of another failed perfectionist. There was a certain encouragement in these words of dissatisfaction coming from one who has become a noted figure in Spanish theatre and certainly a significant playwright.
Now, however, although I still see that meaning I originally understood, I see another one as well. Perhaps there may even be more meanings I have yet to comprehend.
At our first meeting I said I wouldn't write a script. There were other things later I said I wouldn't do: act and direct, for instance, or dance. When working for the Lord one must be careful about saying one won't do something it seems, for as the weeks progressed, I gradually took on more and more until I was doing everything I had said I wouldn't do, as if He intended to prove me wrong on every score....
The joy of it was that the reason I had intended not to do all of these things was partly humility. Those who humble themselves will be exalted....
I certainly had a taste of that. I felt as if the Holy Spirit were guiding the entire way: He was directing and I merely following. I found myself doing things I never would have imagined I could. Together with the wonderful talent and dedication of my fellow artists and musicians (and the support of our tech crew of one), I created a work of art that did not attain the scope of my desires simply because it surpassed it. Give something to God and He will do amazing things with it: that is what I learned once more. I also learned that I can set my expectations smaller than what He intends.
That is a beautiful thought to ponder in this season of Advent. For do we not often set the scope of our desires too low in our spiritual journey?
Advent is a time of sacrifice, of preparation, and of waiting. It is a time for growth. We are to prepare our hearts to receive the King of Kings and Lord of Lords in the coming celebration of Christmas.
What better way than to humble ourselves before Him and give everything to Him? Weak creatures that we are, we find a greater joy and confidence in our surrender when we know that good fruit will come from it. And it will. Because He has the power to transform even the smallest action into a salvific work. For He is God and we are not, He is all-powerful and we merely mortals stumbling along in this dark vale of tears....
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